Back To School Day 2, Okay The Honeymoon's Over

Remember that time a long time ago… like… yesterday, when I posted about what an awesome day he had on the first day of middle school & everything was gonna be just fine? You remember that? Yeah, the dad who wrote that is gone. Today he got kicked in the face by reality & then Autism stepped on his rose color glasses of optimism. I'm back in charge now. Regular ol' cynical Tom that is not so much a glass half full guy but not really a glass half empty guy either, more of a I spilled my glass in my lap & now it looks like I peed on myself kinda guy!

When my son got home today he was so overwhelmed & over stimulated as he tried to tell us about his day no words would come out. I sat on the couch listening to him make groaning noises like he was physically trying to push the words out of his mouth three or four times then two words would come out then groaning then two words & so on. We haven't been to that place in a long time but let me tell you it was a big punch in the gut. Probably a good one to be honest with you. I may have needed a wake up to the fact that YES we are back in school, YES you do need to get your 'A' game back out of the back of the closet & lace up your boots because it's about to get real. Not to say he had a bad day but it was obviously a lot to take in & with it being only the second day of school I'm sure the teachers, staff, & special education teachers are trying to normalize themselves as well as learn their new kids. So I'm really just at a time where all we can do is decompress him as best as we can & send him back into the lions den as prepared as he can be.

 Any time we are off school be it for summer, spring break, or even Christmas break the first week (sometimes month, I know you feel THAT pain) is the real test of a parents mental capacity. Summer is a special kind of hell though because at least with the other times you know the environment they are stepping into & have a dialog. Back to school time is just a waiting game. My head tells me "You have to give HIM time, you have to give THEM time, & you have to just be there for anything that's needed" but my Dad-ness tells me "Lets take a mulligan this week, get some grilled cheese sandwiches, & watch adventure time together!" 

I know it will get better & after my wife giving me the only medicine that will cure an over bearing dad's racing thoughts (Chicken, Mac & Cheese, & 12 year old bourbon) I am feeling better. So yeah, thanks 'Kids Growing Up' you've successfully killed Doe-Eyed Dad & brought back fatty comfort food eating dad but that's okay. Tomorrows another day! 

PS just to be completely clear, because I know my wife will read this post I have to clarify: Fatty Comfort Food Eating Tom never REALLY went anywhere! That was a total turn of phrase & had no truth as to my eating habits which are…less than healthy… yeah that's the terminology I'm going to use! 

6th Grade Here We Come! {Middle School Vs. Autism}

Wow! The last bit of school was great, the summer was even better, & as I came to the realization that I was about to have a 6th grader this week I did several things. 1st. Melt Into A Puddle Of Dad Sludge  2nd. I put myself back together thanks to the nice people at Blue Bell :) 3rd. I decided it was about time to jump back to the blog! That's when I realized that I hadn't posted, other than small social media posts, since march! Wow!

Things have been good! We took the summer head on with the boys first trip to my favorite place on earth, Colorado! Pikes peak was below freezing, hiking in the Rock Mountain National Park, & having snowball fights in the middle of summer were just a few of the things we did. You can see some highlights from our trip on our photography blog if it tickles your fancy! I think I've just about got my wife convinced that if I can market our studio in CO a bit & book enough weddings as well as portrait sessions we may try to start spending a month or two in the summer there. We'll cross our fingers.

Like I said, 6th grade! How did this happen? I remember him being born, taking a first step, & then BAM here we are. Don't even get me started on the other two boys, Zion (with an anxiety disorder & MERLD) started the 3rd grade & Deano (Completely painfully NT to the bone) starts 1st grade. This summer has been so amazing, it was like we took a vacation from Autism! Granted I know we still did the same things we always do; routines, de-stressing, all of our autism adaptations. The difference this summer was it was all normal for us, no big hiccups or hurdles! We just rolled through. It was great! That's why I think it was even more scarier than I thought it was going to be when it was time to snap back to the real wold & start gearing up for middle school. All of a sudden I was all 'BACK TO THE WAR ROOM' starting to plan strategies for the transition & digging out my big boy panties to make sure we are ready to go to bat for the kid. 

When we heard that the orientation was a 'Drop off the kids, parents aren't welcome till the end of the day' style thing I went into 'Its okay, Its okay, I'll just talk it out' mode but when I couldn't get ahold of anyone to talk to I escalated to Dad-Con 4. My wife put it out on Facebook & what happened? The teachers, staff, & principal from the elementary school stepped up (a lot of them are on our Facebook) to give support as well as advice. The principal even made a call to the middle school personally to talk to them about Jayden & to make sure someone gave me a call to talk about him! It doesn't get any better than that. She really went above & beyond, I don't know what we would do with out such an amazing set of advocates in our corner! I know not everyone has that so I'm being mindful to stay thankful. 

He came from the first day excited. The fact that he has science the first hour of the day & is working on picking what instrument he wants to play in the band is great. We are currently deciding between the xylophone & the snare drum so that should be… interesting… yeah, that's the word I'll use! 

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to keep up to date on Facebook.

I love that this photo captures the boys 100% Zion makes a goofy face (his classic defense mechanism), Jayden makes not a drop of eye contact, & Dean is just as A-Typical as you can get!!

Vloging!

I really enjoy posting videos on Youtube & Jayden… well, he would live on Youtube if I let him! Really, how many Minecraft videos could there be!?!

***Side Note*** After reading this first couple of lines over my shoulder & then running to his room I was just informed that here are approximately 78,600,000 Minecraft related videos on youtube.

We have a youtube channel that I sometimes post on but after going through to review the comments (you have to keep the Internet trolls in check) I realized that I have just about 500 subscribers. Why not do some vlogs! It puts a face & voice with the blog as well as I realize that sometimes it's easier to watch a 3 minute video than it is to read a super long blog. The videos of Jayden overstimulated or even the interview style videos to get a look at his perspective are interesting, fun, & judging from the overwhelming response from readers they are helpful so check it out: Adventures In Aspergers The YouTube Channel

So head over to the Youtube Channel & subscribe! As I post videos I will post them up here on the main blog as well. I'm excited!!

A Minecraft Birthday! {Why Do They Have To Grow Up!}

    Our two youngest boys have birthdays 13 days apart so we usually, with their blessing, combine the parties into one. This year it had to be Minecraft! The cakes were so awesome & there are so many of your kids who are Minecraft crazy like mine I thought I would share a few pictures real quick.

   Okay, seriously though, it's not funny anymore! They can stop growing now! Today my middle son turns 8… what happened! How did he get this big? How did I get this old? Why does it all have to change? What time is it? Where are my pants? You kids get off my lawn! … Sorry, I lost track there for a minute. As I was saying he is 8 years old today despite all his neurosis (he was awake pretty much every hour on the hour last night even with a good dose of melatonin) he was pretty happy this morning.  I surprised him with his favorite breakfast this morning pancakes in funny shapes & my wife made bacon! My birthdays don't really depress me anymore…the kids birthdays… those will knock the wind out of ya!
 
   On a short side note if you don't know about the webshow Autism-Live you should check it out! It's a great resource & a lot of fun! Aaaaannnnnddd since your are already going to check it out now that I gave you a heads up on in you should totally tune into the show next week on Jan. 22 at about 11:15 or so to see…. me! I have been on a few times & it's always fun! Between that & a great opportunity I'm a part of next month where I will be speaking on a panel at the University Of Oklahoma's Children's Hospital about Autism, Immunizations, & all kinds of interesting stuff! 

They insisted that the minecraft cake have a pig on it! Non-Nagotiable!

All the staples! Pig, TNT, Steve, & a Creeper!

Making wishes!

The rare & illusive REAL smile! You don't get many of these with that kid!

Jayden, doing a good job at not being upset that this party is not about him!

The many faces of Zion!

Thanksgiving Thankfulness! {Melatonin, Minecraft, & Whiskey!}

  Thanksgiving is here again! This year it's a double whammy because as some of you know we pull double duty at out home celebrating two sets of holidays & seeing as Hanukkah overlaps with Thanksgiving we are neck deep & drowning in thankfulness this year. Couple those two with the fact that we are a weak… WEAK family so the other day when it was sleeting & snowing we went ahead & put up our Christmas tree as well. Yep, we are THAT family! I figured we would be okay as long as we didn't put up the outside decorations so passersby don't know our secret shame!  
 After some serious decorating & school letting out we really tried to spend some time driving home the meaning of the holidays at the same time getting some family time in without making it seem like we were putting a gun to the kids head. Our first attempt failed! Rudolph came on last night & we were all jazzed up for it but when we sat down to watch Jayden says "Do I have to watch this? I've seen it like 1000 times… No offense" hey, the kid said no offense! I'll take it! So after that failed we tried seeing what everyone was thankful for. Zion was thankful for the dog, Annie. Dean was thankful for Momma  & Daddy. Jayden was thankful for… Minecraft!

     Thankfulness, perspective, being humble is all a work in progress in our house…not just for the kids either. I know someone who need their head screwed on straight everyone once in a while because the ego gets out of hand or this person may or may not get cocky from time to time & it's also been mentioned that this person is a grumpy cuss at times too so you know…. we all could use these holidays to help ground us & remind us whats important! Oh & that person I was talking about. I know all about that person because… well… know that person well… Totally talking about my wife… yeah… super cocky, egotistical, grumpy cuss :) Please don't tell her I made that joke! She's so pretty! 

   On to what I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving! So here is my list!!

I'm thankful for Minecraft! Yeah, that's right I said it! I'm thankful because not only does it hold their interest but it also is probably the best baby sitter I've ever had…yeah that's right I said that too!! What! Granted it bites you from time to time by spurring an hour explanation about minecraft & what awesome thing I NEED to know about minecraft!

I'm SOOOO thankful for Melatonin! I can still vividly remember the nights before our friend Melatonin came to visit when Zion would sleep 30 minutes a night. Jayden would be up 5 or 6 times. I am SO thankful for Melatonin! The fact that they make it in Gummy form so its not a fight to get them to take it is just icing on the cake! 

Turkey! After a long day of being a parent sometimes you HAVE to have some Turkey…

Wait… Hold On…

aahhhh, that's better! That's the kind of Turkey I'm talkin' about! Lets try that again! I'm not saying my kids push me to have a drink sometimes… but they defiantly make me appreciate the hours of 8PM - 11PM in that magical time between when they are in bed but before I go to bed! That special time when I can watch the news, eat a bowl of the name brand ice cream that I have hidden in the back of the freezer, & at times have a big ol' glass of whiskey!

I'm thankful for the odd ball crew I've been blessed with! They are unlike any other & that's A-OK with me!

Lastly…. 

I'm thankful for this hot slice of mom! She puts up with ALOT that while are not all appropriate to tell you about here on the blog here are just a few that will help you admire her strength not to put something in my drink so she can be done with me:

- Eating bad food despite warnings from her only to complain to her after

- Randomly breaking out into song, not good songs either! Bad obscure 90's R&B & HipHop

- 70% of all things said to me end up somehow being worked into me spiting an obscure movie quote back

- That I forget something the minute she tells me only to remember & think it's an original idea a short time late & go running in to tell her!

- That even when she is sick, tired, scrubby feeling, or down right pissed off I have no sense of what good timing is & WILL make a pass at her that 80% of the time includes some type of wildly inappropriate pickup line or an outright offensive act that may or may not include things like a pat on the behind.

& that's not even the worse parts! She's an amazing woman!

Have A Great Thanksgiving & A Happy Hanukkah!

A Very Autistic Halloween! {Minecraft-Fanatics-R-Us}

    Halloween is a big deal in our house.  A big deal may even be an understatement!  These kids are already talking smack about what they want to dress up as next year. We really like to stay away from the store bought costumes if at all possible, not only because they are flippin' $30 & when you have three kids…I don't even want to think about it. We also stay away from them because it's just boring, creativity is key!  That being said when my middle son, Zion, came up & said he wanted to be a toilet I was all about it!  Just before, as often time it happens, he changed his mind but MAN a toilet would have been so funny. Anyway, dressing up as a cat proved almost as hard because once we headed to the costume stores I found that it's not easy to find a costume of a cat that's not of the sexy variety. Really though; sexy cat, sexy crayon, sexy Elmo, now that I think about it I should totally get a patent on sexy toilet before it's to late!
     We got Zion the cat taken care of.  After that, for some unknown reason, my youngest son who is 5 wanted to be a lumber jack. That was easy enough but I was unprepared for how stinkin' cute he was gonna be. I mean really…I know he is my kid but I'm the kind of guy who can say the kid is being a jerk if he is, I'm not a 'Look at my little man, he pooted doesn't it smell like a rose!' kind of guy. That being said when my wife painted on the beard & that kid came out in the flannel, sock hat, & ax my face melted off like I was the bad guy in an Indiana Jones movie!

     When it comes to Jayden there was no question. For months before we all knew that there was only one thing he would be going as this year, Herobrine from MineCraft!  Since the only difference between Herobrine & Steve from MineCraft is that he has white eyes I thought.  Yeah! This one is easy! I'll just buy a Steve head & we can paint the eyes! NOPE! I found several but none under $30. Not happening! So I went into cheap ass…THRIFTY dad mode & found this video on Youtube. Not only does she show you how to do it but she also gives you download links to the images to print. I had to do a lot of clipping to get it to fit the box but hey, it was free! Then on the same youtube channel she has how to make a sword & pick ax! The kids flipped! I hot glued a bit of cheese cloth into the box to cover the eyes so they would be white & we were good to go!

Shopping Autistic {Do other parents buy 7lbs. of ketchup at a time?}

So I went shopping today....ugh!  One of the awesome things about me working a regular job was that I got to miss out of fun stuff like grocery shopping but since the big change when I left health care & went full time at our studio I can't dodge that bullet anymore. Off to Sam's Club we headed today! Who knew that little grocery elves didn't stock our kitchen over night!?! It was my wife the whole time! As we walked the isles I started to realize that this place is 1.) A must visit for parents of special needs kids who only eat a limited variety of foods. 2.) Its flubbin' ridiculous, at least I thought it was!!

As I strolled through I found myself looking at things, making off handed sarcastic comments, then realizing that's something we need! 

• "7 pounds of fancy ketchup, what kind of person buys 7 pounds of ketchup!...well, shoot, we go through a sick amount of ketchup!"
• "6 pounds of peanut butter! What? Oh yeah...I'll just put that in the basket!"
• 72 pop-tarts!!! Really...72! Wait...3 kids eating pop-tarts for breakfast every morning, IF..IF they don't sneak a pop-tart as a snack or open the two pack & throw one away because when they open two 2 packs for 3 kids they can't think of anything to do with that 1 extra pop-tart than to throw it in the trash for some reason!! aaaahhhh!!! Anyway, at that rate they will last about...drum roll please... 3 & a half weeks!! 

$200 later I was informed that we really just got a "few" things & will be going back to the grocery store shortly because apparently my kids eat a 2005 Dodge Magnum full of food every couple of weeks! (Yes, that's how I'm measuring from now on! All that food filled up the back of the car so that's how I'm measuring now!) 

.

So...this pic should get across the full scope of my life! If I was fancy...If I was an artist....If I hung the  photograph below in a gallery...It would be titled....PARENTHOOD

Camping, Special Needs Style {The Good, The Bad, & The Exhausting }

When I was a kid I was a Boy Scout. In fact, though I hate the politics & intolerance they show today, I'm very proud to say that I'm an Eagle Scout! Nothing would have made me happier than to load the kids up & head out into the back country for a week long backpacking trip but for two major reasons that just not going to happen. 1.) I've got 2 kids with special needs. 2.) I'm 31 & Fat!

Zion reeled this monster in all alone!
He was so proud of himself but stood
over me to ensure I didn't hurt the fish
while I was getting the hook
 out to set it free!

Jayden is not into it & while we will with out a doubt be doing some fall day trips, camping is just not his thing! So he used the time to go on a date with Samantha to a nice restaurant. Our NT son Dean is ALL ABOUT IT! He wants to camp, shoot, hunt, fish, catch bugs, & is convinced that a spear I made him is all he needs to take on a bear of any size! Zion, our 7 year old middle son, is an enigma though. Zion was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder & Mixed Expressive Receptive Language Disorder but now that he is older we are just not sure. Isn't that the way it goes! When we had him evaluated he only talked to my wife & I. Teachers, family, & others only got a bit of chatter but not much. Now that he is more open to talk & really be observed its getting more obvious that somethings going on. Meltdowns, hand ticks, counting, repetitive tasks, & some of the most irrational fears & neuroses I've ever seen. It all adds up to....me having indigestion a need for Tylenol! 

All that being said he REALLY wanted to go camping! Really? Camping? A kid who changes cloths 4 times a day because he got a drop of water on his shirt. Really? Camping? The kid who refuses to eat food after a fly lands on it because he learned about flies & how they throw up to eat so there is no way he is eating microscopic fly puke! Really? Camping? The kid....wait...(my wife just went in the restroom to throw up! I know she is about the hurl because she turned on the sink because, even after 5 years of being married to me, she still insists that there are things we don't share. Oddly enough, all of the things we don't share happen in the bathroom & vomiting is one of them! That includes kid vomit...we don't share...apparently it's all mine!) Okay where was I....oh yeah. So I'm shocked Zion wants to go camping but what the heck, lets go I said. 

It was almost 100 degrees at around 5:30 when we got there but we tuffed it out. We fished, explored, ate hot dogs cooked on the fire, & even shot their first Red Ryder BB Gun. (and no one shot their eye out!) At about 8:30 I realized we were all running thin. You could ring us all three out like a wet rag & I'm sure the smell was awesome! At 9:30pm after an hour of my best negotiating they loaded up in the car, in their under-roo's, in pitch black, & I used a small flashlight to breakdown the campsite so we could go. I had to stop 3 times during the breakdown to get 2 grasshoppers & 1 moth out of the car after hearing Zion meltdown. With everything loaded we got about half a mile down the road & had to stop one more time because of a killer mosquito flying around that Zion freaked about. Then it was finally on to sonic drive in for a bottles of water & then home to let mom take care of us!! It was so much fun even with the last hour. I hope you enjoy the photos I've included to document our adventure.

P.S. Don't worry about Samantha, though she's not feeling well she will be okay! I, on the other hand, will probably be in some form of trouble after she reads this post only to realize I've documented her porcelain prayers :) I'm in so much trouble! ;)

Be Very Very Quiet...

How about I shoot YOUR eye out!

Fishing our hearts out!

I roast children!! 

Probably in the top 10 all time dad moments! Epic Fatherhood Win!

They were super impressed how fast I started the fire! I was super impressed how well I
was able to hide the fire starter log under the sticks!

Exploring 12 acres of awesomeness. Lots of screaming because of bugs but awesome! 

He hit the target dead on first time! Thats how I'm telling the story...I wont mention that after he did he threw the gun & ran to the target to see. We are still working on safety but thats why dad loaded 1 BB at a time!

Did it rain? Did we go swimming? NOPE! Thats all sweat! Time to go home!

The nasty aftermath of Oklahoma Heat & being up at 10PM

I didn't want to do that thing where you forget how much something sucked because you only
remember the good parts so I snapped a pick of me so I would think carefully about it before
another last minute camping trip in freakin' August!

How To Make Anti-Social Kids Social! {Uh...Force Them Of Course}

Hibben Lemonade Inc. crushing competitors since 2013

We had the bright idea last week to have a garage sale. It's 100 degrees in Oklahoma right now so, I mean, why NOT do something that requires you to sit out in the heat for several hours while most 60 something ladies peruse through your stuff letting you know that the fall scarecrow door hanger is in fact NOT worth the .50 cents you marked it with! If you want this thing sold it's got to be .25 & not only she's firm on that quarter but willing to walk back to her 2013 Lincoln Navigator & head to the next yard sale if you're not going to play ball!

We thought we would plant the idea of a Lemonade Stand for the kids & it worked. I thought it would be a fight but Samantha had them totally pegged as being into it! I was sure the anti-social shut in odd balls would take a "Not No But Hell No" stance that I would have to bribe/negotiate into a solid "Okay, if we have to."(I have no idea where they get that from as I plug away on the computer instead of being outside on a beautiful sunny day) They really got into it! Dean grabbed the perfect cash register (a bloody zombie head), Jayden made the advertisements, & Zion.....complained about the heat until we let him go back inside. A success none the less! $12 for the two day permit to have the sale, $5 in lemonade stand supplies & price stickers, & we made about $80. Well worth it to clean out the garage & get rid of crap that's to nice to throw away but not nice enough to still be in the house. I'm just sayin'...

The amazement that is The Trash Truck!

New Friends!

In a bubble fortress of solitude

Over the years this blog has been crazy important to me. It's my therapy, my soap box, & my confessional. People e-mail me or facebook message me to let me know how much I've helped or how much just reading has be cathartic for them & I'll be honest I'm not sure how that works! I guess that's how I know I'm a blogger, I put it out there WAY more than I take it in. Don't get me wrong I have blogs that I read regularly & I've grown very attached to the people who write them &, as creepy as it seems to me at times, their families that they write about. It's kind of like seeing facebook "friends" at the store that your not really friends with! You see them...they see you...neither one of you say anything to each other & instead make the creepy "Yeah, I know who you are" eyes at each other OR you make awkward small talk with them realizing that you know WAY to much about whats going on with them because of facebook! I feel like, when I get into a blog I find myself reading it & getting super into what's going on in their life. Then I run to my wife & tell her the story about whats going on in the bloggers life like I know them & they live down the street! Meanwhile my wife is giving me this look like "Who are you talking about?" I'm creepy like that! Anyway, my point is I'm creepy attached to my readers & the people I meet via this community/subculture of special needs parents! I like that we are mostly all sarcastic, have an odd sense of humor, & are generally all a bit twisted but most of all I like that we all understand how hard being a special needs parent is at times but also how awesome it is!

Jayden & His New Friend Nicole

All that rambling out there & aside; I had the opportunity to photograph a great family recently who found my blog shortly after their daughter was diagnosed. After following my blog for a while & realizing both our families live in the same state (about an 45-hour apart) mom sent me a message via our Photography Studio's site to ask about a family session. I visited them at their house & we had a great photo shoot. While I was there we set up a time to all get together & visit a local children's museum. I was excited to get Jayden together with another kid with Aspergers with the hope that they could find common ground. Man did they find some common ground! It was great! Not only did they all have fun (siblings included) but it was great to see the two of them migrate to the same interests in the museum like the "Ball Maze Machine"..... yes, I'm aware that sounds like a really bad Sci-Fi movie. Anyway, they really hit it off. Usually we spend like an hour & a half in a place like that until we are all ready to get out but today we stayed almost 3 hours & had a great time! Jayden got a bit overload stimulated & shutdown right before we left (got a bit testy) but so goes life! We had a blast.

I think when Jayden talks to other kids, even kids that really like him, they sometimes get tired of what he is saying &....stop. It was nice for him to meet someone who's mind works more like his & listen to them talk & talk & talk & talk & talk. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't snuggle fest 2013. It was more like "Okay, when the next ball comes down, if the pendulum swings to the left be ready to pull the lever." & "Lets build up all 7 balls to get the whole release valve filled before releasing it!

See...Ball Maze Machine!

They had a great time trying to arrange the balls to all drop at the same time.

Replacing the muffler...if it were Velcro in real life I'd be way more of a car guy!

Deano Blowin' bubbles like a boss!

Probably his favorite part!

A very content kid at this moment.

Oil & Gas Deano!

Judge Jayden!

 I have to add that Jayden really wanted to take Nicole outside to the maze but I told him it was just to hot today. (Almost 100 degrees) So I told him maybe next time. Flash forward an hour late while he is dressed as a judge, he asks me to sit next to the bench on the witness stand. When I ask what I'm charged with he slams the gabble down & proclaims "Daddy, for the charge of not letting me & Nicole go outside to the maze, I find you guilty." All the while having a creepy smile on his face. I thought, okay, I'll bite "What's the punishment?" I asked. "Execution!" He laughed. I asked how & he said "You will have vinegar & baking soda mixed into your belly....you're going to explode!" Funny....a bit disturbing....but funny....kinda scary....but funny.....seemingly a lot of thought put into it....but funny, wait not really funny just scary.

On a bed of nails