Family Vs. Fire {A Year In Recovery, A Year In Review}

One year ago today my family wife & I left our house at about 9am to head for Oklahoma City for an afternoon together to celebrate our 4 year wedding anniversary that was the next day. While we were shopping, around lunch time, I got a call from my grandfather who is a retired firefighter that always listens to the scanner.  I can still hear his words "I think your house is on fire".  A twenty minute drive later we came upon the firefighter trying their best in 100 degree heat to put out the fire that had obviously been burning for hours before anyone could call 911.  All that was left was a ceder chest that was still on fire when it was pulled out but never the less it mostly protected our family photos, kids memory books, & some other important documents. You can read the full post just 48 hours after it happened here.

These guys were awesome!

We tried to bring it up to the kids so we could talk about it a bit but they were not having it. The youngest two reflected a bit & were happy about how great life is but not Jayden. You know, even after all this time, his autism still catches me off guard.  When we talked a few days ago about the anniversary of the fire he pulled me aside & said "Daddy, I have a question. Why would you want us to celebrate a disaster? That doesn't really make sense." So we had a talk about not celebrating the disaster but the resilience of our family & our ability to pick ourselves us in the face of tragedy instead of feeling sorry for ourselves. We talked about how much better our life is than even before the fire. I was very happy we got to talk about how when bad things happen there is always hope & if you just keep your head up & move forward you will get to where you need to be. We use hard times & tragedies not as a crutch but as a fuel for the fire.

It's a hard thing for a family to have everything dear to them torn away but disaster but it's also a good thing. We realized what was important in life, learned how strong we really are, & saw the good in a lot people. We are a better and a stronger family now. My wife & I have a better marriage even. The boys rarely even talk about the fire anymore. It's just something that happens & when it comes up its not really a super sad thing to talk about. It's amazing how fast kids can bounce back after something like that.

I think one of the most amazing things about the fire was witnessing our friends and family come together to support us. I should not say friends and family because the way the autism community and the readers of this blog showed out for our family qualifies you all as family. Sunday Stilwell and an  Of special needs parents raised $5000 for us and a time when we only had the money in our pocket and the cloths on our back. I will never forget that. And while I can't pay everyone back I can pay everything forward.

PS The moral of this story is not burn down your house & your life will be better! ;)

I'm not sure what RedBox movie that was melted to the TV but I'm pretty sure it's gonna be late

Our bedroom, I always knew it got hot in the bedroom but man!! This is crazy!

Shortly after the fire, when we found a new place to live, we had a House 'Warming" Party! Compare the cake to the photos of the house on the day of the fire! They match up, event the firetruck is in the right place!! My mom rocks at cakes!

A few small scraps of one of Jayden's many notebooks. He found these & brought them to me

Everyone coping however they can as Samantha goes through & airs out wet photos

My Very Own Super Hero! {Our 5 Year Wedding Anniversary}

First off! What do you think!?! You like? Yeah! Yeah! I flippin' love it! Welcome to the new Adventures In Aspergers!  I am starting a new leaf & blogging regularly, wider subject ranges, & trying to be better all around.  Stuffs getting real! I interviewed Temple Grandin! Sooooooo, look for new awesomeness coming soon. Better blogs, easier navigation's, new subjects, more helpful articles, bigger giveaways, & way more content! Thanks to all of you who read my blog, I'm so happy you all get as much good out of it as I do putting into it.

On Friday Samantha & I will have been married for 5 years! I know that isn't really that long but it really is to me!  When we got together, as I'm sure I have or will blog about sometime,  she was a single 20 something year old chick with an awesome job, her own place, & living the life.  I was a divorced guy with full custody of my two sons, one of whom was only 7 or so months old.  Not really a dream guy, if you know what I mean!  She didn't hesitate a second, or at least she hid her hesitation really well, & when the time came she moved in with us when our house was.....disorganized! Yeah....that's the word I'll use! :)

It's hard to believe its been five years! I know I will probably post about how great she is when the day gets a bit closer but I wanted to post a few things I've learned & a few reasons I'm thankful for her.

1st things first: You Rock Our F*ing Socks Off!

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We are all thankful that you make us be safe(helmets) but let us be cool($20 eyeball helmet)

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We are thankful you gave us the 'MOM' blessing to get a dog!
{MOM blessing is kind of like the pope's blessing but the pope won't smack the crap out of you if you do what he said not to do}

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You've taught us to appreciate these small moments where maybe nothing is happening but it still means the world.

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I'm thankful you haven't left me for a taller, darker, more famous hair dude.

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You love us event when we're upset & maybe trying to kill you with 'The Force'

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I, myself, have learned that when I'm a smart ass or an idiot I can expect the Irish to come out (behind the kids back because you're a lady & a good mom) 

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I've learned to trust my wife when she says, "just do your hair like you want to...it will look great. Quit being a baby ya big freakin' baby!"

We have both learned & are thankful that we are a pretty awesome family! We would be way less put together & way more creepy/smelly with out you!

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This is the only picture that accurately conveys your awesomeness!

Date Night! {How To Help Marriage Survive Autism Parenting}

The Chef looked creepy but he was very nice!

     Something I hear a lot of talk about on blogs & in research articles is the divorce rate among parents of special needs kids.  That's scary, not really for me, but just in general! I say "not really for me" not because our marriage is so great but because we are both very aware that I married way outside of my league & will never have a chance at a woman near as hot as my wife is. That being said she is also my best friend & the only person who could put up with three boys & a husband with his own unique set of creepy neuroses! Sometime I think that the only time we argue is over autism! That sounds worse than it really is. Jayden has always been & will probably always be an attached at the hip daddy's boy & as a result I am 90% of the time a push over with him! As a coupled result I have to watch myself because I don't want the other two boys to ever feel like they are 2nd to anyone & with Jayden being in home school now I know it sometimes seems to them that Jayden doesn't have to do the same things as them. The younger two are 4 & 6 so it's not really an issue but good habits breed good habits so I really try my best to do 1 on 1 stuff with all three & a lot of stuff as a family as well. All that kid love balancing, homeschooling, me working at the hospital & at the photography studio, Sam photographing & editing, cooking, cleaning, shopping, & all the other stuff that day to day life involves boils down to about an hour or less a couple days a week after the kids are in bed to hang out together. It's very easy for you spouse to take a backseat to life & then your in a rut! We have been to the Zoo, Science Museum, & to the park but my wife & I haven't been out on a date night in....yeah, that long! So when we both had a feeling like we really wanted to spend some time together but also found that there was no way we were finding a baby sitter even for a few hours things looked like a wash out! That's when the boys & I put our heads together!
     We hit Wal-Mart hard picking out flowers, candles, movies, candy & a quick stop off at Chilies we came back ready to work. When all was said & done I took my wife outside, rang the door bell & a very classy waiter opened the door to seat us!

Our Table At The Fancy Restaurant

Custom Made Menu, FANCY!

Hells Kitchen Much!?!?

Our Waiter {He said this was his "Fancy" face} :)

This guy looks like he is trying hard for a tip!

Our Dinner By Candle Light

Special Movie Tickets {The Theatre Attendant Would Not Allow Photographs!}

To The Movies For Bags Of Popcorn, Candy, & Friends!

    This worked out great except for two small hitches.

1. My date wore Yoga pants to a super classy restaurant.
2. The movie theatre attendant got a little sick from the candy & McDonalds he ate earlier in the day & threw up on my & my date just a little bit.

     The second one is my fault a bit, not only because I took him to McDonalds & gave him candy but because I totally thought he was just being a whiner & told him to suck it up only to have him throw up on us as we walked into the "Restaurant", apparently the bar in the restaurant doesn't ID because that kid looked young! All in all a great night & a epic win for the men in the house as all the thought that went into the night spurred tears from mom!